RanchBus Represent

theprincessallieee:

dailyhangover:

@garbage-ch4n 🤣🤣

Perfect lol

(via itzameallieee)

Hi.

I really hate it when people ask my opinion on their life choices like it actually matters to them when it doesn’t. :)

garbage-ch4n:

garbage-ch4n:

I wish I could make and maintain lasting meaningful connections with people without feeling like a complete burden to the point of just completely disappearing from their life because I feel bad about it.

And the worst part is that I know I’m not a burden to people, but because I feel so intensely that I am I just.

Poof. Vanish.

I feel like maybe people think I’m anti-social. And for the longest time I always used to say it’s just cause I hate people. It’s true that I believe a lot of people are the worst, I’ve been through a lot of really shitty things in my life and I have a very negative opinion of people in general.

But I’ve abandoned a lot of people. Some of them deserved it. A lot of them didn’t. But it’s all because of this feeling of guilt just for being around someone and wanting to get close to them.

I feel like my time is a waste to other people, and they don’t really want me to around. It makes me feel like I’m being unfair to them by wanting to be friends. I always feel like there are better ways for them to spend their time, and they’re only around me out of politeness. They don’t really want me there.

I think the biggest reason for me feeling this way has to do with the trauma of being abandoned by my ex-wife. The person who I trusted my whole soul to, the person who was supposed to be there always, and the person who chose to betray all of that.

And it’s not just her. Another person betrayed my trust similarly. Now, I’m not trying to blame everything entirely on them and say I’m not at any fault for my actions. I am at fault for the shitty things I’ve done. I recognize that. But I also recognize these actions by other people played a significant role in what caused me to be this way.

garbage-ch4n:

I wish I could make and maintain lasting meaningful connections with people without feeling like a complete burden to the point of just completely disappearing from their life because I feel bad about it.

And the worst part is that I know I’m not a burden to people, but because I feel so intensely that I am I just.

Poof. Vanish.

I feel like maybe people think I’m anti-social. And for the longest time I always used to say it’s just cause I hate people. It’s true that I believe a lot of people are the worst, I’ve been through a lot of really shitty things in my life and I have a very negative opinion of people in general.

But I’ve abandoned a lot of people. Some of them deserved it. A lot of them didn’t. But it’s all because of this feeling of guilt just for being around someone and wanting to get close to them.

I feel like my time is a waste to other people, and they don’t really want me to around. It makes me feel like I’m being unfair to them by wanting to be friends. I always feel like there are better ways for them to spend their time, and they’re only around me out of politeness. They don’t really want me there.

I wish I could make and maintain lasting meaningful connections with people without feeling like a complete burden to the point of just completely disappearing from their life because I feel bad about it.

And the worst part is that I know I’m not a burden to people, but because I feel so intensely that I am I just.

Poof. Vanish.

Hi I’m real tired of this shit.

Is it too much to fucking ask that people just do the damn things they say they’re going to do??????????????

HONESTLY.

I’m horribly depressed and don’t have any reasonable outlet for it so I’m just gonna post it here and then go about my day as usual.

Everything will be fine, eventually.

I’m struggling with my own existence so I’m just gonna scream into the tumblr void.